i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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