And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
