Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize