I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
