LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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