Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
