i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
