I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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