Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
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we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
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He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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