Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You are the jesus of drinking
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
