he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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