Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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