You work out of a Hotel?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
