Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
