We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
