I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize