No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
