I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
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btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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