yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
need another drink. this is the easiest way
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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