So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
