My cat gives me a boner
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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