He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
