i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
