My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize