The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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