hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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