Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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