And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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