I bet he comes in French.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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