Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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