ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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