I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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