Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize