he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize