just tell him i said nine months
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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