Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
