She's like a pop up book from hell.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think my moral compass just broke
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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