I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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