Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...