I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine