well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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