I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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