Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
