Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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