her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
