I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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