i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
