I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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