He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
