You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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