Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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