he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Watching her eat just hurts me
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
