I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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