...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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