hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
