maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize
