see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
God, I missed his penis.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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