Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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